


some crush

by eg1701



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Malec, Bisexual Jace Wayland, Coming Out, Fluff, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, I can't believe I did this, Multi, Pansexual Isabelle Lightwood, Pansexual Simon Lewis, alec is still super gay, background and low-key clizzy, jace is bi and i'll fight you on this, jace is so shy, nothing but fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eg1701/pseuds/eg1701
Summary: Jace has a crush.Alec is tired of the emotional rollercoaster.Izzy knows what to do.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like an hour because i forgot how much i lowkey love jimon

For most of his life, Jace assumed his future was with a girl. He had always liked girls, always thought they were pretty, always enjoyed hitting on them and watching them blush and giggle. He liked the way they fit around him, the way their hair fell in their eyes, and the lightness of their laughter. It was easy to like girls. Easy to fall for them.  
He knew about Alec of course, that Alec was gay, but he pretended not to, because if Alec didn’t want to share it, then Jace wouldn’t press. It was no one’s place but Alec’s to share that, and if he never wanted to, Jace might feel a little hurt, but he’d understand.  
But Jace saw how hard it was for Alec to come to terms with his sexuality, so even if Jace maybe thought that boy visiting from the LA Institute had nice eyes, or that that werewolf boy was prettier than most of the girls in the pack or that maybe once he got really wasted and kissed a mundane boy behind a bar when he was a teenager, he didn’t acknowledge this and pretended none of it happened. It was hard for Alec and Jace had had enough shit happen to him in his life. If he could have an easier path, he was going to choose it. If dating girls was the easier path, then he’d date girls, and push down any crush that didn’t fit that.  


Then the stupid mundane and later vampire showed up.  


Personally, Jace thought he was a big nerd. Truly, Simon Lewis was one of the most annoying people he had ever met, if not the most, and if Jace never saw him again it would be too soon.  
But he kept showing up. Damn persistent. Once he got turned into a vampire, Jace realized that he wasn’t going anywhere, most likely until the end of time. And it infuriated him, because maybe Simon’s dorkiness was starting to rub off on Jace. Which he hated. And Simon’s humor was dumb, but sometimes when he couldn’t sleep and it was two in the morning, Jace remembered the dumb joke Simon had made, and it made him smile. He’d almost died for Simon- he would have too, not just because it was the right thing to do, because Valentine had killed enough people, but because the thought of Simon dying had made Jace’s heart skip a beat.  
It terrified him, and the fact that it terrified him, terrified him even more.  
Alec had pulled him to the side one morning, to ask what the hell was going on with his emotions, because they were all over the place and it was frankly getting out of hand.  
“A crush. I think,” Jace said.  
“It must be some crush,” Alec raised his eyebrows, and nodded towards Clary, who was training with Izzy. They watched as Izzy took her down in one swift motion, with a soft thud on the mat. Izzy reached down to pull her back up, and they squared up again.  
Jace shook his head, “No. Not Clary. I mean, I like Clary. She’s really pretty. Maybe I did have a crush on her once. But it’s not her anymore.”  
“Maia?” Alec guessed, “She’s pretty. Didn’t you guys hook up?”  
Jace nodded, “Yeah we did. I like Maia too, she’s great and she kicked my ass which is a really nice quality. But that was literally just a fling. We both knew it was a fling.”  
“You don’t have to tell me. I don’t want to pressure you,” Alec said suddenly and put a hand on Jace’s shoulder, “But figure your shit out because it’s driving me absolutely nuts. It’s puberty all over again. I’ve got my own love life.”  
Jace laughed, and changed the subject, “How is Magnus? You guys alright?”  
“Yeah. We’re good. Which is why I’m being nosy about you because for once I can tell it’s you freaking out and not me. Magnus even asked if you were having some sort of moral crisis because you look quote, more confused than normal.”  
“So hear me out,” Jace looked around to make sure no one was listening in “I sort of have a crush and I need your advice. Also, rude Magnus.”  
“I don’t know too much about dating girls Jace-”  
“I know. That’s why I’m asking you.”  
Alec’s eyes widened, not quite in shock, but more in amazement.  
“I knew it,” he muttered, smiling to himself, “I knew you liked the vampire. I called this. You kept talking about his little Lewis, Simon Lewis, more than you needed to to make fun of it. By the Angel, you thought it was cute.”  
Jace felt the color leave his face, because hearing someone else say it made it very real, and Jace was both thrilled and really worried.  
“Yeah,” Jace shoved his hands in his pockets, “Yeah. Shut up.”  
“It’s ok,” Alec smiled, “It’s ok to like Simon. My advice is maybe don’t propose to someone else and leave them at the altar unless you have no other alternatives. But there are lots of other alternatives.”  
Jace rolled his eyes, “Do you think I should go for it?”  
“Talk to Izzy. She knows more about him then I do, but I’m pretty sure he likes guys too. Go for it Jace. The worst that can happen is he says no, you get drunk, and you move on.”  
“When did you get so wise?” Jace asked, smirking.  
“I overheard Magnus talking to someone on the phone and that’s sort of what he told them.”  


Izzy and Clary had finished sparring, and they were coming over, so Jace just nodded, and gave Alec a look that clearly said “keep this between us.”  
Alec nodded too, “My lips are sealed. Hope it all works out.”  
“Hope what works out?” Izzy said, wiping her face with a towel Clary tossed her, “Is everything ok?”  
“Yeah,” Alec replied, “Jace just challenged me to a sparring session and he thinks he’s going to win. Come on loser, let’s go.”  
Jace nodded, thankful for Alec’s excuse, and he waved goodbye to Jace and Clary, and followed Alec to the mat.  
\----------

Alec was right. Jace should ask Isabelle, because yes, she knew Simon much better, and because she had more experience dating boys. Alec had only dated one, and that relationship was far from typical.  
But did Jace want to tell her. He knew she wouldn’t care, she loved him as much as she loved Alec. He was her brother too. But it was hard for him to come to terms with, and the more he said it outloud, the more serious it became, and Jace wasn’t sure how serious he wanted it to become. He wasn’t sure he was ready to make it official, to officially like boys- or rather, to specifically like Simon Lewis.  


But he needed to deal with these feelings, and the only way to do that, was to just suck it the hell up and ask Simon out. Or at least admit he had feelings for him. Jace figured once he did that, a weight would be lifted, and he could return to some sort of normal brain function.  
He knew Isabelle would be up because most mornings, if she hadn’t been out late the night before, she’d be by herself in the training room. She said it was a great way to wake up, but Jace understood. They all used working out by themselves as a way to deal with emotions.  
So much had happened, they always seemed to be in the training rooms.  
He knocked lightly on the door, and she whirled around to see who it was.  
“I thought you were Mom. She’s supposed to get here today.”  
“Just me,” he smiled and leaned against the door, “Can we talk for a sec?”  
“Sure,” She set down her staff, and pulled her hair off her neck, to try and cool down, “Is everything alright? Is Alec ok?”  
Jace nodded, “He’s fine. I’m fine too. It’s just- I have a crush on Simon and I was wondering how to ask him out.”  
Izzy stood there for a moment, then ran over to throw her arms around Jace, “Oh my God, you two would be so cute.”  
“You’re sweaty Iz.”  
“Sorry,” she peeled off of him, and smiled, “Do you really?”  
Jace kicked the ground and nodded, “I have for a while. I don’t know.”  
“Ask him out,” she said firmly, “Ask him out today.”  
“Do you think he’ll say yes?”  
She nodded, “I do. You’ll probably have to watch a bunch of mundie movies but-”  
“I don’t care.”  
They were both shocked.  
“That’s some if you’re willing to sit through mundane entertainment. You know you can’t make fun of it if you want him to kiss you.”  
“Shush,” Jace blushed, “Is that your final answer? Ask Simon out?”  
“Can I ask Clary out?”  
“Oh my God, no wonder Mom was always annoyed with us.”  
She laughed, throwing her head back, “Ask Simon out. You deserve that. You sound so awestruck when you talk about him. It makes sense now, since I know about the crush.”  
“Thanks Iz. You want some coffee? I’ll bring you some.”  
“That would be great. Thanks Jace. Go call Simon. He’s up I’m sure.”

\----------

After making sure the kitchen was abandoned- he searched every inch to make sure no one was out of sight- Jace pulled out his phone, dialed Simon, debated throwing his phone across the room, and almost chickened out when Simon answered. He would have if he could think of a good enough excuse to be calling Simon at seven in the morning on a Sunday.  
“Heyikindoflikeyoudoyouwanttomaybegetdrinkssometime?” The words came out in one breath, and the air around Jace seemed to freeze while Simon translated what he’d just said.  
“Sure,” he replied, and Jace felt like he might pass out from excitement, “How about tonight? We can get drinks and I’ve got a movie I think you’ll like.”  
“Sounds great,” Jace said, in a voice that was a little higher than normal, “I’ll see you tonight.”  
“See you tonight Jace.”


	2. Chapter 2

They’d chosen the Hunter’s Moon for their date. It was a nice, neutral location, and while some of the Downworlders eyed Jace, he didn’t seem to notice, because Simon was talking about a gig he had played, and Jace was quite enamored by the light in Simon’s eyes, and the excitement in his voice. Jace promised to come to the next one, and that had made Simon’s evening.  
They ordered, and Maia, sensing what was happening, smiled, and gave them their drinks on the house.  
Simon did most of the talking. Clary said once that it was a nervous habit, but Jace encouraged it. They didn’t have a huge amount in common, but there was enough interest on both sides so that no one was bored.  
“Do you really like me Jace?” Simon asked.  
It took Jace a moment to realize he was being addressed, and he nodded, setting down his drink.  
“Why? I mean, I didn’t think you cared for me, even as a friend.”  
“It’s just-” Jace considered his words, “I’m not good with emotions. It’s partly a Shadowhunter thing, but it’s partly a being raised by Valentine thing. It’s why I choose to keep my relationships and mainly hookups. It was easier to not get too attached, because like Valentine taught me, to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed-”  
“That’s super messed up Jace. I’m sorry that happened to you.”  
Jace managed a smile, and downed the rest of his drink before continuing, “But if this whole war has taught us anything, it’s not to wait. People die everyday, and I’ve been nursing this damn crush for so long. I don’t know why I like you really, I think you’re cute. I think you’re funny and the thought of you dying scares me so much I didn’t know someone could be so scared.”  
“You’re not the cool headed, emotionless bad boy you pretend to be are you?”  
Jace shrugged, “No. Not really. It’s easy to pretend. Alec knows it’s an act. But life’s short right? Alec told me to do something or I’d have to kiss you at my wedding. And so here we are.”  
Simon smiled, and Jace couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking, which was mildly concerning.  
“Let’s get out of here. I kinda live in a boathouse, but it’s cool I promise, and apparently Shadowhunter training does not involved Star Wars, so I think we need to fix that.”  
Jace nodded, and thought he’d go just about anywhere with Simon.  


And so Jace made the move, and offered his hand to Simon. 

\----------

Somewhere during the second (or fifth, Jace didn’t understand the order in which you were supposed to watch the movies. That being said, he was enjoying them) Jace kissed him. There was kissing on the screen, and they were sitting so close together, it was easy to turn Simon’s face towards him, and kiss him.  
“You kiss good,” Simon said, turning so Jace couldn’t see how embarrassed he looked, “You must have had a lot of practice.”  
“Mr. Lewis, you’re trying to seduce me.”  
Simon laughed, “Did you watch The Graduate? I was telling Alec about it at his wedding.”  
“I know. He complained about it and I watched it because you seemed to like it.”  
Simon laughed again, flopping down on the bed, while the good guys on the screen were outmaneuvering the bad guys. Jace hesitated, and then laid down too.  
“Did you have a crush on me when I asked you out?” Jace asked.  
“I have for a little while now. I told Clary, but I made her swear not to tell anyone.”  
Jace nodded, “Is it weird that this feels really right.”  
“No. I feel it too. It’s late out, you can stay here if you want. We have a bunch more movies. Unless you need to get back-”  
Technically, Maryse and Robert would probably be looking for him in the morning, but Alec had covered for him before, and it was pretty late.  
“Nah. I’m good to stay.”  
That seemed to be what Simon wanted to hear, because he pulled Jace against him, and they kissed again. Jace knew he’d have no clue what was going on in the movie, because Simon had already had to explain things and that’s when Jace was paying attention.  
He didn’t really mind, if it meant they could keep this up. Simon’s hands were on his waist, and Jace’s hands were in Simon’s hair. They were kissing, and laughing, and whispering stories in between all of that.  


At some point, Jace fell asleep, curled around Simon, and it seemed to be only a few hours later when the morning dawned. Simon sighed next to him and Jace wondered if that was an instinctual thing, or if Simon just liked breathing, because vampires didn’t need to do that.  
It was a weird thing to fixate on, but Jace was still working through the fact that he had spent the night in another boy’s bed.  
“I should get back to the Institute,” he said in a sleepy voice, reaching down for his jacket.  
Simon nodded, and pulled Jace in for another quick kiss, “When can I see you again?”  
“Anytime Daylighter,” Jace said, smirking. Thankfully his suaveness was returning, and the awkward mess he’d been for their date was starting to go back into whatever hole in his mind it crawled out of.  
Jace was pulling on his jacket, when he realized it wasn’t his, but Simon’s. Jace’s own leather jacket was at the foot of the bed. Simon’s jacket was a deep green, something Jace had seen him wear a few times now.  
“Keep it. It suits you.”  
Jace smiled, “I’ll call you. Mom’s in town, and she’ll probably have something for me to do, but luckily I’m close with the head of the Institute.”  


They kissed again, a quick promise of I’ll see you sooner, rather than later, and Simon walked Jace halfway to the Institute, even though every block they said goodbye. Finally, the thought of another Shadowhunter seeing them together convinced Simon to head back. They shared a last kiss, and Simon stayed until Jace was out of sight.

\----------

He knocked lightly on Alec’s office door. He’d walked in once when it was shut to discover Alec and Magnus making out and it looked as if there could have been more, so he always knocked now.  
“Come in,” Alec called.  
Jace pushed the door open and smiled.  
“You’re already wearing each other clothes,”Alec noted, setting down his tablet, “I take it all went well?”  
Jace nodded, “Is Mom here?”  
“Yeah. She’s down in the ops center, you might want to get rid of your bed head before you see her. She knows you didn’t sleep here last night.”  
“Thanks for the warning. He likes me Alec.”  
“I’m glad. I can tell how good you’re feeling. Make sure you let him know that if he hurts you he’ll have me and Izzy to answer too.”  
“I’m going back to bed Alec,” Jace said, rolling his eyes.  
“Good night lover boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to whoever picked up on simons force awakens (poe & finn) reference


	3. Chapter 3

Jace liked having Simon around. He liked knowing he was there, liked feeling their hands brush against each other, liked stealing kisses and glances and then turning away as if they were embarrassed.  
And Simon liked Jace. He liked his sarcastic sense of humor and his stupid smirk. Liked the callouses on his hands and how easy it was to get lost in his eyes.  


They seemed to fit together, much easier than they’d have thought. If fifteen year old Jace knew about this he’d have thought whoever was telling him was absolutely insane.  


Alec and Isabelle both noticed the change immediately. Jace seemed to be more relaxed, more like his old self. He joked during meetings, and Alec never punished him, just tried not to let any smile into his glares. He hardly made fun of Isabelle’s cooking, and he seemed to have a new understanding of life. It made Alec smile to see Jace so carefree. It had been along time since Jace was like this, and frankly Alec thought they all deserved some damn happiness in their lives.  
Magnus was enthralled by the tale of Jace and Simon. Jace had told Alec that Magnus could know, because Alec didn’t really keep anything from Magnus, and it’s not like Magnus was going to disprove.  


But there would be people who did, and so Jace was very careful not to make things obvious. He didn’t want the entire world knowing about his relationship. To this day people sometimes made snarky comments in hushed voices about his brother, and it had taken Alec a very long time to ignore those. Jace was definitely not ready to be able to do that. One day sure, but what he had going with Simon, whatever it was, he felt it was kind of serious, and he didn’t know how easily he’d be able to take a snide remark.  


It was a toss up on whether he’d punch someone, or burst into tears, and neither seemed like a good option.  


Simon didn’t seem to mind keeping their relationship under wraps. There was plenty they could do that didn’t involve the Shadowhunters or the Downworlders, and Jace noticed that most mundanes didn’t particularly care if they held hands or kissed on the sidewalk. To the mundanes they weren’t a vampire and a Nephilim, but just two people going out, maybe falling in love with each other.  
He kind of liked that about mundanes.  
It wasn’t as if Jace wasn’t proud to show Simon off. He was. He’d very much like to walk through the front doors of the Institute and say, “this is Simon. We’re dating. Please stop hitting on me,” but he really didn’t feel it was a viable option.  
Simon had hesitated to introduce Jace to his mother and sister, mainly because they didn’t know he was dating anyone, especially a boy. He didn’t think they’d care, he just thought they might be a little surprised, and he didn’t want Jace to think they didn’t like him.  
But the weeks passed, and Jace wasn’t going anywhere, so Simon resigned himself, and introduced Jace as his boyfriend.  
“He’s cute,” Rebecca whispered to Simon, who quickly shushed her. Jace shook both Simon’s mother and sister’s hands, but by the time they left they were hugging as if they’d known each other for years.  
“I think they liked me,” Jace said on the way back.  
“I don’t know who wouldn’t.”  
Jace blushed a little, “I’m sorry I’m too nervous to take you to the Institute Simon.”  
“Hey, you don’t have to apologize alright? You don’t get to choose how people are going to react to things. If you think it’s going to be bad, then I am fine with this. We have time.”  
Jace nodded, “I guess so. I think I just imagined having the guts to do what Alec did, but I don’t. Is that lame?”  
“Of course not. Look Jace, the Shadowhunters are kind of culty, and so I get it.”  
Jace paused for a second, and burst out laughing, because Simon had just used the word culty and been so absolutely deadpan, Jace couldn’t help it.  
“It’s not a cult,” he said, trying very hard to keep himself from bursting out into laughter again.  
“I mean, Alec is no cult leader, but come on, you are a little culty.”  


“Simon I love you.”  
And they both froze, because had Jace really just said that? He didn’t mean to. He clapped a hand over his mouth and looked at Simon in pure horror.  
“I mean- that was. Shit.”  
“I love you too.”  
“Y-you do?” Jace asked, because no one, well no romantic partner, had ever told him they loved him before.  
Simon nodded, and pressed a kiss to Jace’s forehead, “I do.”  
“Say it again,” Jace said, grabbing Simon’s arm.”  
“I love you Jace- which last name do you actually go by?”  
“Herondale or Lightwood. I don’t care.”  
“I love you Jace Herondale or Lightwood. I love you, I love you, I love you.”  
Jace beamed, “Come on.”  
“Where are we going?”  
“The Institute.”  
\----------  
And true enough, that’s where they went. Jace marched up those stone steps and right in the front doors. He came across Max first, and he and Simon high fived.  
“Izzy and Simon were helping me train.” Max explained, “He’s kind of weird, but I like him.”  
“Max, Simon and I are dating,” Jace said before anyone could say anything else, “Is that ok?”  
Max shrugged, “Whatever. If Alec can have a warlock boyfriend you can have a vampire boyfriend.”  
Jace smiled, and ruffled Max’s hair, “Is mom here?”  
Max nodded, “With Alec, in his office I think.”  


They found Maryse in the office, with Alec, deep in a discussion. Jace waited at the door to be addressed, because he knew Alec liked it when he respected his position and didn’t come bursting in.  
“Jace?” Maryse asked when she noticed jim standing there, “Is everything alright?”  
Jace nodded, “I wanted to introduce you to someone. It’s important to me that you like who I’m dating, because you’re my mom too.”  
Maryse nodded, “I’m sure I will dear, who is she?”  
Alec shot a glance at Jace that clearly said, “do you know what you’re doing?”  
Jace nodded, “It’s a he.”  
And Simon figured this was as good a time as any to wave awkwardly at Maryse, who furrowed her eyebrows and looked Simon up and down.  
“Honestly, it doesn’t even matter that he’s a boy, I’m just worried that not a single one of my children are going to end up with Shadowhunters. I suppose this is the universe reminding me of my time in the Circle,” She smiled, and put a hand out for Simon to shake, “Simon right?”  
“Yeah- yes. Simon Lewis.”  
“You still have Izzy,” Alec smirked, “I have a feeling she’s seeing a Shadowhunter.”  
Maryse obviously either missed, or ignored the undertones to Alec’s voice, instead pulling Jace into her arms, “You’re my boy. It’s going to take me time to adjust to all these things, but I promise, in the end, I will always love you and your brothers and sisters as much as I can, and even more than that.”  
And Jace smiled, and leaned into the hug.


End file.
